Tuesday, February 21, 2012

People We Meet

Every day we walk past different faces,
but some stick and others don't.
Even tho we are all one skin and life force, 
we can't meet every body.

And then there are people who do,
manage to shoot through your cortex,
stay in your brain, and you stay wondering 
thinking why didn't this person look the same
as everybody else?

Sitting on cancer while I made small talk about his
profession, his-body actively chilled,
grubbed on pupusas, and then proceeded to 
word death into existence...
Never losing hope that a young life, his own
creation, would remember
his-love forever, way past infinity. 

Every-body comes into your life as a message,
and his-body came to mine as a window
into a world where every body knows their fate;
Pushing 35 years of age on a wheelchair,
spinning experience into sharp edge commentary 
of everyone's bullshit. 

Every-body comes into your life as a mirror,
and my reflection also showed an aging body,
knowing its withdrawal from this dimension is coming soon. 
Time is a relative term though...
In seeing 3 hours of his existence, 
I saw more life than what we expect of children...

The truth is every-body is dying...but who the fuck is living?

Life is fire; TRUE magic that 
transforms
cleans
warms
heals and sometimes destroys
when time is relative.

We are fire
that brings life to darkness,
that cures the physical body from death.

Let's be that fire, every day 
Let's be that fire, be one. 
We are that fire, even after our flesh is gone.


Rest in Power - A.S.
11/11/76 - 2/20/12



Friday, February 17, 2012

Done?

Breakfast: a bowl of fresh grapes, strawberries, melon, honeydew, and pineapple. It was like signing the peace accords in my mouth and stomach.

Eating fresh fruits and veggies for now. Will definitely incorporate the carbs tomorrow - veggie sandwich!

-Clau's stomach.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Master Cleanse - Day 8

Today I start the ease-out process. After 7 days of the lemonade, my insides have nothing left to give, and my pH is dropping. So, I have started to drink other types of juice. Last night I made an orange avocado juice. Bomb.

It has been quite the physical, emotional, and mental journey. Tomorrow I will begin Jiu Jitsu again. My body feels stagnated, needs flow.

I wonder if Demian Bichir will get the Oscar.

-----

Shodhini

The importance of knowing your cycle, so you can work with yourself to obtain certain goals (pregnancy, non-pregnancy).

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Master Cleanse - Day 6

I know I live in LA, but I still gotta ask myself every day....Traffic: WTF!!!!! I left my house at 7:07 and got into work at 8:25. Puro desvergue en mi cabeza. Wiped out.

170.8 - My dreams have been escaping me. All crazy. 

Valentine's Day: At least the sun is out today. I send my love out to all the elephant seals mating in Natividad, CA right now! Get those babies out there!

Since I'm pretty hungry right now, and I can't eat, the only thing that will help is making a list of all the food I wish I could eat right now (in no particular order):

1) **A Sandwich**
2) Pho (This one was surprising)
3) Chocolate
4) Chicken
5) **My grammy's red frijoles**
6) Tortillas
7) Rice
8) Bananas, Papaya, Oranges, Mango
9) Avocado
10) Broccoli

The other day (I think on Day 4) I dreamt that I had a fat Snickers bar in my hand and I took a bite out of it. I wanted all of it but I had to share with like 5 people. Vale verg*, I couldn't eat all of it - even in my dream!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Master Cleanse - Day 5

Today is difficult. Gotta bring the energy/swag back and focus on Day 10, coming up in 5 days. This has been the longest I've ever gone without consuming anything solid. Tripping out that my stomach isn't growling like crazy.

A piece of San Juan came to visit yesterday, reaffirming the success of my decision to leave. Much love to that place that taught me so much, made me suffer but made me stronger at the same time.

ZoZo made her grand entrance to Los Angeles this weekend, which proved both fun and draining.

ZzzzzzZzzzzzZzzzzz

-Clau's stomach.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Master Cleanse - Day 4

Really conscious of my body's energy...Can't stay out til 3 am no mores. :(

Every day I grow stronger in my mind - even though my kitchen is full of food from Salvi homeland, I'm pushing temptation and going forward.

-----

Heart Pleasuring

Friday, February 10, 2012

Master Cleanse - Day 2

Successfully ended Day 1.  So far, this experience has helped me to say "no" to various things.
More and more I'm seeing that it's not just letting go of food - it's letting go of external influences in your body. My focus is incredible right now. Going to get down and paint this weekend. 


Thursday, February 9, 2012

Master Cleanse - Day 1

Acordei as 6:30 da manha.
177.8

Putting out my intentions for this cleanse:
-To improve my health and food intake going forward
-To cleanse from substances (THC and Alcohol), to let my mind flow freely
-To focus my creative energy and strategic approach to all my projects (Conference, Teatro, Artwork for Doc)
-Connect with my body and fine-tune my communication with her
-Prepare for marathon - by resetting my internal organs, I can begin a new method of nutrition and physical training
-Serve as a leeway into lent - Lent is observed by Christian tradition. I do not believe in this religion.  However, Lent is a deeper tradition than repenting, guilt, and making yourself suffer.  The root is in esoteric spiritual practices - as a way to meditate and connect with yourself. Lent is the abstinence of the material, so that we may become grounded in ourselves - where the soul and universal power reside.

-----

Shodhini Workshop - Day 2

Finally saw myself clearly - following my own cycle and observing other womyn's patterns as well.

Historically, we've been deprived of our connection with our genitals. When you don't have a connection (or "own") your sexuality, your genitals, then you are giving the power over to someone else. It is how ruling powers "took our souls."  This is why Christianity was so perfectly combined with Colonialism.

By making autonomy a sin, they paved the way for marketing and expansion.

What happens when we reclaim that autonomy? We become grounded and know how to follow our true selves, and most importantly, know how to stay away from bullshit that isn't good for us.

By reclaiming our pleasure, we disallow our personal colonialism from living inside us. We become fearless and unapologetic. In other words, we become revolutionaries.

Monday, February 6, 2012

February 5th

First of all, Wow.

And wow to Baby Superbowl Showers. Yesterday, Sunday, a day so dope I had to wake up at 3:30 am to think about it some more.

Saturday saw Sofia again finally, precious child.

Friday - crashed out at the studio after imbibing some very delicious beer and wine. Finally started working on the snake I hadn't touched since Fall 2010.

Sunday - met up with homeboy from the bay about his film and the artwork I'm creating for it. Saw the doc and, for being the first rough cut, it tells the story really well. A lot of different perspectives that I haven't seen documented, some really powerful words.

Glad I'm meeting people who are on the same path and with the same purpose, who are nurturing my art and being touched by it as well.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Birthday Reflections and Shodhini

The eve of my birth anniversary was spent in the company of 6 other womyn, in an outdoors, semi-urbanized ceremony. Released our intentions and ingested mushrooms for spiritual guidance.

The reflection of my inner state showed stability, center, peace and love.

The day of my birth was spent eating fruit with Bri, smoking sesh with Walter (+the beautiful body of a ciwacuyut, the trickster), and watching Fela! the musical with Jacqui, cuzin Tony, homie Luis + Selena.

Shodhini Sesh 1 - wow.

Male + Female are not opposite, they're variants.