I was on medication for about 2 months out of the year so far, for my wisdom teeth.
I don't like to take pills. So now I'm really avoiding any pills.
Today I was kicking it with little J in LA and all of a sudden I start getting massive uterine pain.
All of a sudden I started feeling waves of pain...getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
I started getting dizzy and lost color. My blood pressure dropped I feel. My womb kept transmitting
gargantuate pain signals. I had to pull over in a parking lot to just lie down....it just got worse and worse and worse. I went into a sort of trance. My whole body was just emitting energy from the center out.
I refused to take any pills. Kept it going. I don't know how long I was in that state but all I know is that once it subsided, I felt like I was also experiencing the greatest pleasure....to know that I was able to withstand all of that without breaking for drugs. :)
While I was in the trance I learned how to reject the pain, not accepting it....not making myself a victim. It's very discomforting but not making yourself a victim helps to block the pain.
Meditation.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
That Day.
Where you get sucked the energy directly out of you. Where you're counting down
the minutes left of work so that you can go smoke a bowl in your car and enjoy traffic.
I'd rather spend two hours cruising on the streets than 1.5 hr in stop and go traffic.
Did just that.
Synchronized radio stations with cars next to you make it feel like you have a portable
surround sound system.
Somewhere between 6th/Alvarado and 11th/Valencia the energy shifted. Absolutely nothing was going right, I was hungry then I wasn't. I think I really just wasn't hungry in the first place.
It was that moment at work. In my experience the recovery of a wound is more intense than the actual making of the wound. Today was one of those days when the wound got sore again.
Ego trips? Organization? Domination? So many things just suspended in the air like the moment when the parabola switches direction. Ay.
the minutes left of work so that you can go smoke a bowl in your car and enjoy traffic.
I'd rather spend two hours cruising on the streets than 1.5 hr in stop and go traffic.
Did just that.
Synchronized radio stations with cars next to you make it feel like you have a portable
surround sound system.
Somewhere between 6th/Alvarado and 11th/Valencia the energy shifted. Absolutely nothing was going right, I was hungry then I wasn't. I think I really just wasn't hungry in the first place.
It was that moment at work. In my experience the recovery of a wound is more intense than the actual making of the wound. Today was one of those days when the wound got sore again.
Ego trips? Organization? Domination? So many things just suspended in the air like the moment when the parabola switches direction. Ay.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Two and One.
Primal instincts call us back to the root.
I live my life on this sentence.
Whatever problem arises, keep zooming in see if you notice importance
fading. The last thing you'll see is a flow of electricity
from positive to negative and back. Orbitals demonstrate to us
that everything alternates between being and not being, perception depends
on how fast it is alternating between the two.
Put two colors next to each other, then take steps back..they start merging to become one. But
there are always two colors, and there is always one. Seeing the difference depends on how far you are.
That is a human being. We are one, and we are two, all at once. Society alters our ability to see that.
Primal instincts call us back to the root.
I live my life on this sentence.
Whatever problem arises, keep zooming in see if you notice importance
fading. The last thing you'll see is a flow of electricity
from positive to negative and back. Orbitals demonstrate to us
that everything alternates between being and not being, perception depends
on how fast it is alternating between the two.
Put two colors next to each other, then take steps back..they start merging to become one. But
there are always two colors, and there is always one. Seeing the difference depends on how far you are.
That is a human being. We are one, and we are two, all at once. Society alters our ability to see that.
Primal instincts call us back to the root.
Limpieza
Finally got around to starting to clean my sister's room. It's always
an invasion of privacy routine. She's coming back home soon and I really want to
hook up her room. As I started sorting through the closet and putting things in there,
I thought GODDAMN this girl has a lot of stuffed animals!
La chiqueada!
I was cleaning her little night table under which was a fat stack of Teen Vogue. I thought
"tsk, tsk, tsk, high school-age C would not be down for all this shet." (But then again maybe I was
down, i've always that Salvi teeny bopper in me...but the Stubborn Hard-ass just oppresses and represses her a lot.)
Anyway, I "stumbled upon" one of her class journals, and I was just hit by a fat wave of emotions as I was reading it. I mean I know my sister but it's such a strange thing to read what she says or thinks about me to others. Every line just reminded me of the side of little sister I forgot about, or maybe I didn't forget; maybe C just took a break from feeling responsible for everyone. Oh wait, that's exactly what happened.
It was nice to be re-acquainted with my sister. Learning what she has felt and thought about and the way she expressed it just enhances the way in which I can show my love better. There's been friction about that in the recent past. Perhaps the last couple of years Stubborn Hard-ass C has been dictating. I guess acknowledging that means there's a new C. Yes. :)
an invasion of privacy routine. She's coming back home soon and I really want to
hook up her room. As I started sorting through the closet and putting things in there,
I thought GODDAMN this girl has a lot of stuffed animals!
La chiqueada!
I was cleaning her little night table under which was a fat stack of Teen Vogue. I thought
"tsk, tsk, tsk, high school-age C would not be down for all this shet." (But then again maybe I was
down, i've always that Salvi teeny bopper in me...but the Stubborn Hard-ass just oppresses and represses her a lot.)
Anyway, I "stumbled upon" one of her class journals, and I was just hit by a fat wave of emotions as I was reading it. I mean I know my sister but it's such a strange thing to read what she says or thinks about me to others. Every line just reminded me of the side of little sister I forgot about, or maybe I didn't forget; maybe C just took a break from feeling responsible for everyone. Oh wait, that's exactly what happened.
It was nice to be re-acquainted with my sister. Learning what she has felt and thought about and the way she expressed it just enhances the way in which I can show my love better. There's been friction about that in the recent past. Perhaps the last couple of years Stubborn Hard-ass C has been dictating. I guess acknowledging that means there's a new C. Yes. :)
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