When I was little, I was very cautious when playing because I didn't want to get hurt. I also had hope in the system: I believed that there were good cops and bad cops, good politicians and bad politicians, that pop music had some sort of a social message, that marriage was sacred, that the bible was THE connection to God. I grew up having a phobia of snakes because of Adam and Eve (i.e. I thought that snakes were an incarnation of Satan). I thought that if you talked hood you couldn't be smart...In my mind, I wanted to make my mom proud: I had to be the perfect immigrant child that behaved, spoke perfect English and Spanish, got good grades, had career and educational goals..I was a star student. I was the epitome of what a "good" kid is. In other words, I had a really tight asshole.
I'm 26 years old now, and I'm proud to say that, somehow, I let life show me that NONE of the above is true. I stopped trying to address and fix individual problems in the system, in society, in my mind, because I finally saw that the whole fucking thing is rotting from the root. The way you reach this point of understanding is just by asking questions. Sometimes we don't even receive answers, but the fact that our brains conjure these questions up is significant in itself...like your primal force is calling you back from the bullshit and convinced your brain to think about it a little more.
This is a list of questions that I've asked in my life:
Who am I? What am I? How did I get here? Why are kids in other countries starving? Why is this country wealthier than that one? How did this country become a country? Why do people work to pay for cable television? Why isn't everyone aware of how their body functions? Why do people trust doctors to make decisions over their bodies? Why do microwaves exist? Why are there so many fucking commercials? Why don't we eat more fruits and veggies? Why do people have to pay for food that is grown on their land? Who decides who is a "criminal" and who isn't? Why do we need police? Why do police shoot so much? Why aren't police trained in nonviolent communication? Who does the police work for? Who does the city work for? Who does the goverment work for? Who benefits from this system? Who creates the criminals? Where do criminals come from? Why did they become criminals? Who created those conditions? Why is it illegal for people to be human on this side of that fucking border?
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